The following is an essay written by a member of the PNWWP. This essay was an assignment for a ritual training course, wherein the individual is asked to examine their spiritual journey and explain their view on ritual, expectations of the student on what they are looking to gain by begining the life long journey of becoming a Gothi.
Ceremony, prayer, meditation, mindfulness, ascension; they all form the foundation of our ritual practices. From the simplest of daily practices in the management of our time dedicated to personal and professional endeavors to the most sacred of rites, rituals are living models of our beliefs. When we practice, contemplate, and ameliorate our intentions and purpose through both daily practices and ritualistic ceremonies, we build our connection to our living Gods and to our folk. While each kindred, clan, tribe, family, or individual may each have their unique applications of ceremonial purpose, we must understand their importance in their roles to gaining spiritual guidance, wisdom, and growth. Rituals give us the opportunities to become our best selves in both celestial and ancestral honor. In other words, “rituals are everything.”
More than anything, I wish to gain such wisdom, for not only myself, but for the greater good of the folk. Any talents, knowledge, skills, and abilities, I may now possess or gain through my completion of this course and ongoing education, are not only mine. May our Gods strike me down if I do not admit to how challenging this first essay has been for me in every aspect of my being. Not due to lack of aspiration, but due to my desire to truly come to a place where I felt like I was spiritually prepared for the work that needs to be dedicated to this lifelong journey. I have spent much time in meditation and personal daily practice with the knowledge and understanding that I have already obtained in my experiences and studies over the last 8 years as a practicing Odinist to strengthen my determination to undertake this process. In doing so, I have found two truths (albeit not the only ones to recognize): that ritual is at the center of Odinism/Asatru and that specific and intentional action and language are paramount to the existence of our culture. I have never been one who often is left speechless, but due to the significant importance of the concept of practices and traditions I do not wish to take my words and my beliefs on the subject lightly. As our Gods are living and breathing within us and within our blood ancestral memory, so they speak to us through our rituals. Our approach to practice must be with reverence to our ancestors as well as our gods, goddesses, and deities. The line of communication with which we are gifted allows us a direct connection with them in our practices. It is integral to make this distinction in our faith as we are a folk of action, rather than a people who simply regurgitate rhetoric blindly. Our very survival depends on our adherence to ritual, practice, and tradition. Ritual means a future for our people and, now more than ever, I want to contribute to building that legacy.
While I have been more casual than I would like to admit in my own practices up until this last year, my decision to take this course has many influences, both personal and communal. I have had the privilege of being a part of an active kindred and am one of its founding members. This has put me into an “Ambassador” role when working with fellow kindreds and organizations. My ability to be approachable and considerate of newer members or those showing interest in Odinism/Asatru has been a double-edged sword, as I have often been lacking in answers to their inquests. This either warranted either passing them to another source or having to research a satisfactory answer. Although education is at the heart of the practice of our faith, it has also become a spiritual obstacle for me, as it has caused a sense of uncertainty in my own intentions. Am I just here to belong somewhere? Am I honoring my Gods? Are they, my Gods? As I would never wish to hinder or damage the spiritual experiences of others, I had to search my own soul for my own answers.
I found myself from an early age with a great spiritual thirst which led me down many different paths until lying upon Odinism and it has not been without internal strife. While I was raised in a local Baptist Christian church and appreciate the knowledge that afforded me to recognize and understand more deeply art, literature, and historical events, I found my need for growth lacking fulfillment. I recall attempting to study and prepare for my baptism, only to find that I was no “lamb of God’ and declined to continue that path. Although I still spent the remainder of my youth attempting to obtain spiritual enlightenment within Christianity and through the study of all religions that I have knowledge of, I never felt the kind of energy as I have felt in our faith. Until then I can only describe a sense of “drowning” in superficial habit disguised as genuine belief. As priests would hear a call to their pilgrimage of servitude, so would the call come to me to honor the Gods and Goddesses in my deeds and my purpose.
Most recently, within the last month of this writing, my family and I have participated or hosted folk events that included blot and sumbel every weekend. Each of these have had their influences on one another, as many participants carried over between occasions. However, within the same community, we had notably differing experiences depending on the kindred(s) and individuals involved. This has led to an ongoing discussion locally of what is and is not considered appropriate in our rituals and sacred spaces, as well as their presentation and execution. I hope to gain more personal clarification on not just the historical significance of these traditions, but also, as you stated, their practical applications in our lives.
When I first became aware of this course, I felt a surge of aspiration. Although I had to focus and use this desire to participate and create new routines and personal rituals to achieve this goal, the work in preparation itself has already been transformational for me. I firmly believe in the connection of the mind, body and mind and intend to not rush the process, nor remain stagnate due to my unobtainable drive for perfection. Each step, however doubled back, still must drive me onward. My pace must as it is, and I must be able to accept that as an irrefutable fact, lack any fear of falling short of honor. I pledge to dedicate myself to fully engaging in the process, to not judging my progress other than to further my emersion into the course and the knowledge I hope to gain, and to be honest in the work. Stanza 54 of the Havamal states:
“A measure of Wisdom, each man shall have,
But never too much let him know;
The fairest lives, do those men live
Whose wisdom wide has grown.”
So too will I accept the limitations of my humanity, but also seek to exceed my own expectations. As my journey is only unfolding as the Norns would see fit, so will I dedicate my actions to creating a beautiful experience on the road ahead.
Hail.
